Womens Reservation- The debate

Women reservation bill was tabled and passed in the Rajya Sabha around a month or two ago and it was a major topic of discussion all around. One such discussion happened at office over coffee and one of my colleague voiced that he resented the bill and smugly asked that women allege that they want to be equal to men then why the need for reservation?

A question I am sure in the minds of many of the opposite gender.

Why reservation when you demand equality? Reservation do not exist in developed countries like the US, UK or Australia then why here in India?

Well I support the reservation and am firm advocator of equal rights for both.

In our country reservation is to help the down trodden, the socially and educationally backward in the society and I feel no one fits that bill better than women.

In our country womens struggle for survival starts from the moment she is conceived. If she is lucky enough then she gets to see this beautiful world as we all do or else her fight perpetually ends in the safe haven of womb itself. Coming into this world is not an end to her fight rather it is just a start. After birth starts her fight for survival, education, equality, honor, making her choices in life.

You might argue that it does not hold true in today’s India where people are educated and we read reports of women having achieved a lot.But I will have to disagree and say that it is still the same in most parts of our country. Yes there are a lot written about and we feel that a lot is happening in the right direction but that is for a very small percentage representing the humanity called women.

There are villages in India where it is difficult to find a single female offspring. They are either aborted or killed soon after birth. It is justified by the archaic village panchayats. How else could you justify the skewed sex ratio’s that are reported by the census and various other reports?

Why villages? There are a great sections in our cities that have a stigma attached to girl child. Be it by aborting them, abandoning them after birth, depriving them of education, prohibiting them from joining work and much much more.

Yes there is a slow and definite change in the mindsets happening today but to discard what was being followed from centuries will take time.

Reservation of women in the parliament is a small step in the direction to help women achieve the equality she demands. These women elected and representing the millions of women in the country would see to it that laws and rules are passed that would invariably help the women get better opportunities. Better education, nutrition, living conditions and much much more.

In countries like US, UK and Australia where there is no discrimination for being a girl child and where every opportunity is rightfully given to her there is no need for reservation but in a country like India where there is discrimination everywhere she turns, reservation is a necessity till she can stand shoulder to shoulder with man and demand for equality.

'The Book'

I have already written about the two persons who inspired me or were the reason for me to start blogging. Today I am going to talk about a person who inspires me to continue writing it and whose one question for sure whenever I give him a call is whether I have posted any new entries?

His name is Vikas Verma and he is a friend I got at my stint with Satyam in Hyderabad. He is also the one who inspired me to write the blog titled ‘consequences of marriage’. He was one of the boyfriends whose initial confusion after marriage was directly seen by me and inspired me to write it. :D

These days in addition to asking about new entries he also asks whether I have started to write ‘The Book’. He believes that I could very well write a book and would be successful in it. For that faith of his in my writing I have promised him that if and when I write a book it would be dedicated to him. It is as a gratitude for his belief in my writing a belief I do not have in me.

I have forever dreamed of writing a book, I do not know if I will but when I have a friend who believes and pushes me to it I am sure I might end up writing one in future.

The better part of this deal is that I am assured of having 100 copies of my book being sold. He has taken it up to himself to sell a 100 copies of the book that I write and hence would be the first book in the history of mankind to have sold a 100 copies even before the author started writing it (imagine a smiley with a sheepish smile here).

Vikas this entry is for you and the book when I write it would also be dedicated to you. For the faith that you have in my writing and in turn for the faith you have in me. Thank you. :)

Avatar- Watch it for the message

Watched the highest grossing movie of all time Avatar and loved the underlying idea in the movie of living in tune with nature. Life existing in such a way that the balance in nature is not disturbed. That was something our ancestors did, living in balance with nature, taking from her only that which could be replenished by her.

I also admired the heights of his imagination where he digitally created a home away from home. The beauty, splendor and detail with which he created its flora and fauna is amazing.

But what I prized the most was the way Na’vi and Pandora coexisted. It is similar to the relation man and nature had ages ago when man worshipped nature and took from her bounty and gave back to her. In today’s world it is actually a message to stop the atrocities that man is committing against nature. Man do not realize that in his greed for money he is slowly killing himself and destroying a place we all call home.

If our ancestor were as greedy as we are now we wouldn’t have had all the beauty that we see around us. The high price of this unscrupulous destruction is going to be paid by us and the future. We have already started paying for the plundering with the rising temperature, diminishing water levels, natural disasters and many of the changes we see in Mother Nature.

Destroying that what we received as a blessing from the creator is easy but do keep in mind that we are killing ourselves and the generation to come by our actions and greed.

Met Remy!!!

I saw Remy the other day in Mumbai on my way to office, no not the electric shock received hair styled one whom I have mentioned in the first ever article written by me in school but Remy of the Ratatouille fame. Remy, you know, the rat that played the protagonist in the Disney movie ‘Ratatouille’ yes I saw him. Now you might ask how I am so sure that it is Remy itself. Well I will tell you how?

I saw him during the busy, rush filled morning office hours with vehicles jumping signal and all across there is a sense of urgency to get to destinations fast. And here he was waiting to cross the big intersection beneath the flyover where vehicles ply to and fro to four directions and more in addition to the multitude of people on the street running and walking in rush.

He first scurried across the road to beneath the flyover across the zebra line bordering the vehicles awaiting the light to turn green. Then he jumped the signal to cross diagonally across the road dodging and scurrying unscathed between the wheels of bus, car, truck, and in between the running and hurrying feet of people to safely reach the other side of the rode.

Once he reached the other side of the road he hopped onto a rickshaw awaiting green light at that end of the road and carried on to his next adventure.

Who other than Remy would be so adept to the ways of living in the city. He who has lived in Paris wouldn’t find the hustle and bustle of Mumbai a great challenge. :D

Loss due to technology

A thought crossed my mind the other day that with the rate at which technological progress and advancements are happening. Wouldn’t our future generations miss on some of the beautiful experiences we have had as kids?

I still fondly remember the summer vacations of my childhood. The 2 months of summer vacation divided between my paternal and maternal ancestral houses in Kerala when we came down from Mumbai. It was a time when all of us aunts, uncles and cousin would have a ball of a time walking around in the lush greenery surrounding the house. Splashing and bathing in the pond or the river, plucking ripe cashew from the cashew trees, picking fallen nutmeg, mangoes, guavas and the endless amount of fruits that doted the house. Running behind chicks which were specially hatched for our arrival by my maternal grandmother timing them in such a way that they would have hatched just the day we reached or would hatch within a day or two after our arrival. There were so many endless activities that beheld our attention in the months that invariably flew off fast. Even though there was no TV in both these places it was never missed or for a fact thought about at all during the stay.

But when our kids have their summer vacation what would be kind of experience they would have? The experiences they would have would be of watching TV, playing games on the computer, surfing the net. Wouldn’t they miss on all the amazing memories that we created on the wonderful experience that we had in the 2 special months every year of our life?

Would they get to have a vacation where they would be one with nature? Just walk around and play in nature’s bounty, play with free flowing, pure water, get unabashedly drenched in the rain, feed the cow and its young, run around behind the chicks, hunt for and pick warm eggs once the hen start clucking after having laid it.

I don’t know! But I have a gut feeling that they won’t. We have missed on many a wonderful experience that our parents have had during their childhood. Though the cycle of life might let our kids grow in an age where technology is far progressed from what we had in our childhood, they would be missing out on a lot of the real life experiences which we as their parents had when technology had not advanced this much.

Table for one

Here is another article that I came across in the net and liked . Hope you guys also like it :)

How often do you get to be girl, uninterrupted in the city? If you're hanging out after work, it is work colleagues, friends or significant others. If it's a movie, it involves finding out who is available and willing.

If it's going dancing, it's how much critical mass do you have, really? If you are traveling, someone always wants to know what you do, where you work, whether you are married or single. If you go to the beauty salon to get pampered, they want to know where you cut your hair or get your pedicure.

If you're waiting to board a flight, there's a nosey parker in the next seat. So it's not very often that you have alone time really, not even when you retire to your nest, as there is always someone competing for that remote, that favourite couch, that precious hour in the bath, that copy of Time magazine.

Not surprising why the sight of a woman on her own in a cafe like bistro, deli or wine bar is increasingly a common one these days. And it's not about whether these women are single.
These are basically women with hectic lives, jobs, bosses, colleagues, husbands, boyfriends, socialite evenings and plenty of friends. They're not lonely losers, they're confident women marking out 'me' time.

Advertising copywriter Savita Nair is one such woman; a self-confessed "restless soul" who desperately needs time alone, even if just to collect or organise her thoughts. She admits that people find it weird that she is married and yet enjoys going out alone occasionally. "Most of the men I know act disappointed. 'But why couldn't you call us?' The women of course assume you are depressed or sad if they hear about it. And the next day I'll get a call from one of my girlfriends to ask, Babe, are you okay?'It's as though the only reason you seek aloneness is because you are depressed," she says.

Nair has been a resident of three cities - Pune, Delhi and Mumbai - in the last 10 years, and finds Mumbai most conducive to a woman one her own. Second-best, she says, is Pune. The first has the advantage of excellent public transport, while the latter is a two-wheeler paradise, where every woman has wheels of her own. "But I would never venture out alone in Delhi-I am totally put off by the north-Indian male mindset which typically assumes that if you are alone, you are easy

. Also, Delhi sucks in terms of public transport, and women are safe only in very high-end places, and not in mid-level ones," she adds. Then there is this thing about 'the look' that people at adjacent tables sometimes give you. "It is harder in your twenties, but if you keep at it, you learn to ignore it by your thirties, says Nair.

" She adds that she'd prefer her own company to being tied down "to some utterly superficial conversation that she is not looking for." Her idea of places to hang out alone is quite clear.
"Any place that is restful, doesn't have loud music, kids or teenyboppers, but is not necessarily as clinical as a library." She is most happy with a glass of wine, a pasta or salad, a book and herself.

Another reason why she chooses to go out alone many times, she says, is that she enjoys eclectic eating experiences but most of her friends don't. "So I might as well go alone instead of waiting for the right company," says Nair.

Prachi Jain, art director with an advertising agency, says she needs to be left alone from time to time, to recover from the madness of her advertising life, and find the peace and quiet that is hard to come by in the city. Jain finds the cafe culture most conducive to leisurely reading and coffee.

A Delhite who moved to Mumbai a few years ago, and is now married to a Mumbaikar, she remarks that 'the look' is a good barometer of the difference in the two cities' attitude to women on their own. "In Mumbai, someone might just give you a cursory glance and move on.
But in Delhi, the staring is more persistent, more questioning," she says. She also feels that lounges and bars are totally out of bounds for a girl alone in Delhi, but quite acceptable in Mumbai.

"Women do go out to cafes alone in Delhi, but since the crowd tends to be more boisterous and loud at cafes, there's no peace anyway," she adds. And then there is Sonya Dutta Chowdhury, a freelance writer and mother of three, whose 'me' time is mostly wedged in-between various errands.

She calls herself " a coffee-and-muffin kind of person," and finds it boring to order lunch alone. She usually has her days full, balancing writing, the husband, maids and her daughters. Eating out alone gives her the alone time she most looks forward to. "I deserve it," Chowdhury says. Occasionally she also goes out just to think and write. "I've spent many productive hours with coffee, muffins and my laptop at Brio, my neighbourhood cafe," says Chowdhury.

She agrees that doing this in Mumbai is much easier than her hometown, Delhi. "Here, no one bothers you, unless of course you go to some specialty restaurant and look like a bit of an oddball. In Delhi, men somehow haven't yet learnt to leave you alone," she adds.

Chowdhury got used to going solo since her stint in the US, though her friends here wonder how she does it.

Still, it takes a lot for most women to be out there alone. Gourmet chef and food writer Karen Anand, for one, confesses she is not comfortable with the thought. "I don't eat out alone in India. I might when I'm traveling abroad, but even then I order in my room, and that's not the same thing.

It's different in, say, Europe where you essentially eat out to 'eat the meal' she says. Rajashree Khalap, an adventurous animal activist who often travels alone to sanctuaries and wild-life reserves, also admits she is uncomfortable eating out alone. "I'm not a foodie, and at the most, I might stop for a cup of hot chocolate somewhere, but that's it," she says.

Will this article make any difference to women still hesitant about sitting at a table for one, afraid of being labelled lonely losers? I hope so.

What I can tell you, from my own experience, is: try it once and you'll be hooked for life.

Assisi - Adieu !

First ever article that was written by me.... it was for the school magazine :D

June 1st 1995 - I entered into the Assisi Campus with my Mother and Sister. There were lots of unfamiliar faces all around me and a great hustle and bustle as parents and children rushed about looking for their respective classes. Yes, you've guessed it - that was my first day at Assisi. I looked with trepidation into this ocean of unfamiliarity..... There, next to a pillar stood a girl of my age. We walked in that direction and introduced ourselves. I came to know that her name was Neethu Jaleel and she too had joined in Class VI. Together, we walked into the Class marked "VI" which was on the first floor....

It was full of students who all seemed to know each other very well. We sat on the first bench; the only one left unoccupied. Two benches behind a boy wearing spectacles with weird hair standing all up straight as though it had received an electric shock, was busy chatting away to all those around him, thereby setting up a hilarious mood in the class room. Later, I came to know that he was called Remy.

Days, months, years flew by intercepted by exams, holidays, new friendships, quarrels, new comers and partings....seven years later, here I am at good old Assisi suddenly faced with a threatening reality of it being my last year here. Of course, I am no longer the lost young girl I was. The class I look upon is filled with my friends, who over the years have grown very dear to me. And Remy was still there with his hair looking weirder still and his blabbering continuing nonstop, inevitably succeeding in sending his listeners to sleep. There are many new faces and also many missing. I and my friend are about to leave Assisi and all of a sudden we realize how hard it is going to be for us to separate from the big Assisian Family we have become so much a part of.

We will leave Assisi as students with better personality, talents and a sense of individuality. Thank you, Assisi, for every thing you have done for us. I am not sure enough whether I am ready to step out into the new world and I think that the same goes for the others too. Our teachers who have led us through the complicated maze of Life so far, would not be there any longer to advise or protect. Nor will my friends be there to lend a comforting shoulder to sob on in times of distress.

We have a word of advice for our juniors, i.e., Enjoy your school days at Assisi to the fullest, in the best way possible, so that at the end of all you may look back with fond memories. Teachers we are really going to Miss you. Though we have not often said this to you, we take this opportunity to say "we love you very much and thank you" for all that you have done for us. Please don't forget us, the famous trouble-makers and remember us in your prayers as we step out from under your protective shadows into the big, wide and strange world before us.
Sweet Adieu, assisi.................!!!